Saturday, October 31, 2009

Who's your daddy?

Yom rishon, 14 Cheshvan 5770.
There is a delightful phenomenon that I have been noticing in my community.  I am sure that it happened in the States as well; but either it is more prevalent here, or I was too busy to notice it as much there.

Whether it is Israeli, or generational, or a combination of the two, I see a lot more fathers walking their kids to school, pushing strollers, carrying their babies around in "snugglies," and pushing shopping carts while having lively discussions with two-year-olds about paying for the Bamba before we can open it.

Some local fathers were pleased to offer their thoughts on the subject.  Patiently explaining around my pidgin-Hebrew with their pidgin-English, they gave opinions as varied as -- well, as varied as opinions you would expect from a group of Jews.



One Israeli said that it is clearly generational.  "This is something my father would not have done.  It was for the woman."

A slightly older oleh from America agreed with him.  "My father used to drop my mother off at the hospital when she went into labor, and then he'd go to work.  It wouldn't have been 'normal' for him, in his generation, to spend this much time with the kids."

Another young Israeli father said, "No, it's Israeli.  We want to spend more time with the kids.  And also it's to give more time to the mother."

A very practical South African oleh said that it's all about the schedule that life in Israel requires.  "It depends on who landed the A.M. job, who needs the car -- like that."

Upon occasion, I wasn't sure if I was photographing a father or a big brother walking the little one to gan; but even this variation is one I did not perceive in the States -- at least not as often.


In Baltimore, fathers frequently drove their kids to school.  So another factor may be the city vs. small-town differences:  It would have been a bit trying for fathers to walk their kids the four miles to the school my sons attended.  Naturally, life was lived pretty much between station wagon or van drop-off and pick-up.  ("Car Pool" is practically a religious affiliation in Baltimore.)  But even when school was not involved, I just don't remember as many fathers having the "dad-and-kid" time to push strollers and shopping carts.



Whatever the reason for the frequency of fathers picking up and dropping off their children, taking them shopping, and in general "hanging out" with them -- it is a pleasure to the eye and ear.





And anybody wanting to make a crack to an Israeli dad about spending too much time playing "Mr. Mom" might want to be sure that the former IDF soldier isn't carrying both a baby in a backpack and his M16.


This post dedicated to all of the kids of Neve Daniel, for cheerfully  submitting to these pictures.  May you continue to enjoy the bracha that is your Abba for long and healthy years.



14 comments:

Ye'he Sh'mey Raba Mevorach said...

Love it love it love it. So glad I was on line to catch this one as you fired it off! Great pics. I've noticed the dad/kid thing in the most chareidi of chareidi neighborhoods as well, and I just adore it. Who says that Orthodox men relegate the women to deal with the kids? Not in THIS country, anyway.

BTW my beloved hubby is off with Son #2 studying Navi. Lest anyone think that Torah study is a male thing, I am about to sit down with Daughter #2 to study for her parsha test tomorrow...

Arielle said...

We made it onto your blog!!! Moshiach can now come. :)

sparrow said...

This is such an encouraging post Ruti. I love it. What great kids and great Dads.

Debbie Kodish said...

nice article.... I should have sent in a photo of Kenny and Eliana :)

rutimizrachi said...

YSRM: Nice to get independent verification. ;-) Keep that parent/kid learning going. Great bonding time that they will cherish.

Arielle: I'm with you on that! Any minute now would be great.

Sparrow: Thank you, dear lady. How is your Dear One enjoying his visit?

Debbie: Send it on over anyway. There's always room for a little more nachas.

sandra said...

Hi Ruth,

The sight of father/child relationships often brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for this beautiful blog. Love you. And......carry on!

westbankmama said...

Great post. Practically speaking, if mom works outside of the home, she usually has to be home early to pick up the kids. Therefore she gets out very early, and dad takes the kids to gan and school. When I was a stay-at-home mom I usually took the kids to gan, but westbankpapa would make sure to do it on Fridays when he was off work.

BubbyT said...

I saw an aba walking a stroller to shul for the 9 am minyan on shabbat (way before groups start)...

in another generation...my father came to all the school plays and stuff...he had that kind of job that enabled him to take off time...and that was in the last decade (I'm a bubby)

Baila said...

Great post!

Lady-Light said...

Wonderful to see abbas with their yeladim. My son is following that path; his son is only 1 year, but my son already seems to be a loving, demonstrative, hands-on abba, thank G-d.

(I'll keep poking you, though; it's already a minhag!)

toby said...

I'm sorry I only saw this now. What a great set of photos! It is definitely heartwarming - and you're right, it's not a sight I would have seen as a kid.
Way to go!

the sabra said...

Ahem do we know Mr. Hard Rock Cafe or am I imagining things?

Yes, agree with the others-beautiful post and beautiful nation. (Ok so I added the second half)

Susan said...

Hi Ruti,
I found out about your blog from Sarah Chana, who I was with today on an Israel Center tiyul. I'm so glad she told me about it!
You probably don't remember me from Baltimore, though I remember you. It's great to hear that you made aliyah, and it looks like you are really appreciating it. We've been here 13 years, and the love-at-first-sight still hasn't worn off. Boruch Hashem. Wishing you all the best,
Susan Lewis, Neve Yaakov

Susan said...

I forgot the Comment I wanted to leave on this great post. My married son is so involved in the care of his toddler son that we always say about the little boy that "he has two mothers".