Raising only sons, I am endlessly fascinated by the delightful differences between males and females. For example, none of my sons -- even the most flamboyant -- would be caught dead at a hat party.
The last hat party I attended was on my first trip to Israel in 1991. The delight of playing dress-up with a bunch of women, and the cute comments that floated around me, have stayed with me all of these years.
"Ooh, Tessa! I never knew you had red hair!"
[After a knock at the door]: "If you're a man -- STAY OUT!!!"
[In a lovely Cockney accent]: "Oh, not f'me. Too frum!"
I found a couple of beautiful snoods, which I still cherish to this day -- mostly because they let me hold my first experience of Israel close to me all of these years.
Now that I am privileged to live here, I attended my second hat party the other night. There were even more hats!
And the comments were just as cute.
"Miriam, it must be very hard to choose a hat, when everything looks so great on you!"
[After a knock at the door]: "If you're a man -- STAY OUT!!"
"[Sigh.] Some lucky people just have 'hat heads'."
One of the very different character traits between men and women is the competition thing. If men would hold a hat party, the comments would be more aggressive and joking -- dare I say "snide"? -- then at women's gatherings. Something like: Yankel, that hat makes your face look like a baseball. Well, thanks, Mordy. At least I don't look like I just sprouted feathers out of my ears. Oh, yeah? YEAH.
Women tend to encourage and help each other. Everyone wants to look better than she does; so she empathetically says nice things about her friend, or becomes her "personal shopper."
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At the end of the experience, a girl feels like everyone is her friend, and she can't wait to get together with these lovely people again.
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For more on the differences between men and women, especially applicable to this time of year, check out Jameel's Pesach cleaning post: "Mars & Venus on Erev Pesach Cleaning".
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