Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Lace and Pearl Paper, Mothers and Daughters

Yom shlishi, 20 Kislev 5773.

 To my dear friend, the mother of my future daughter-in-law:

For more generations than you and I know, Jewish mothers have had to imagine what it was like for far-away daughters to go through the stages of growing up, because it has been a sad part of our people's heritage for families to wander, sometimes separately.  It cannot be easy for you, even with all of the modern technology that allows us to stay in better touch than families of other times, or of other less-developed cultures.

Your email today about some of the steps you are coordinating with us from across the sea inspired me to write a little something for you and your daughter, and also for all of the mothers and daughters separated by an ocean and a dream of a better life.

I never had a daughter
So the pretty silver laughter between you over dresses is a sound that’s new to me
Your affection for pearl paper for her wedding invitations
Rings as sweetly has her joy for tulle and lace and grenadine

It must be hard to be so far away
While she is changing from your little bird into this lovely dove before our eyes
May we share for many years the love and laughter that my ears have had the privilege
Of sharing as I’m watching from the side

I hope this fragment of a love song shares just a bit of the happiness and awe I feel at being permitted to be part of the friendship you have with this lovely young woman.  I look forward to when you will be her neighbor here in Israel, and mine.

Watching this mother-and-daughter dance will be even more beautiful than hearing it.

And I would consider it an honor if I can play a part.

My mama's not around anymore.  But we were also good friends.

In honor of all the mamas and daughters everywhere, who've been separated by time or distance, let's share a joyful tear together, shall we?

May all of our simchas be shared, in person, here in our holy homeland, very soon.


miriam said...

Ruti, oh I can relate. Our two daughters were married in Israel while we were still living in Canada...

We missed out on the preparations, the running around, the decision making...all the joys parents should have...but

Baruch Hashem, both our daughters married well, have beautiful families and beautiful lives with their husbands..and that's the bottom line.

Mazal-Tov to everyone....When is the big day?


rutimizrachi said...

Miriam: I am so glad you and your children are together at last. I happen to know that you are a delighted and delightful grandmother!

The wedding is on 6 Shevat, please G-d. May we share many smachot!

Sheyna Ariel said...

This sent chills through my body.

Batya said...

You can't imagine...
I've never had these wonderful experiences...

rutimizrachi said...

Sheyna Ariel: I hope they were good chills. May you and your dear daughters spend many joyful smachot together!

Batya: May we enjoy them together vicariously then. The pleasure of "fargening" is that we can appreciate the joys of our extended Jewish family as if they belonged to us -- because they do!

Varda Meyers Epstein (Judean Rose) said...

Beautiful blog post, Ruti. Really conveys the joy of the mother/daughter relationship. Happy for you, my friend.

Anonymous said...

oh wow, did I cry.
If only you had younger sons, I would love to have had you for machatonim...how thoughtful and loving this letter is.
May you continue to have only smachot and be able to share your lives with us.

Shprintz said...

Only in Israel can a cellphone ad have me in tears...but I would (I think) give up the pre-wedding preparations in a minute to know that my daughter was planning to start (and continue, until 120, pG) her married life b'Eretz HaKodesh. May that thought more-than-compensate for what one particular Jewish Mom (JM=MJ...get it?) is missing.

rutimizrachi said...

Varda: Thank you, my friend. May we share many moments of joy.

Cheri: What a lovely thing to say! Amen! Who knows, Girlfriend? There are always grandkids. ;-)

Shprintz: Agreed, my dear. Love your word-and-letter play. :-)

Ye'he Sh'mey Raba Mevorach said...

Beautiful. Just beautiful. Everything should take place at a good hour. (When is not a good hour in our loving G-d's world?)

Your daughters-in-law are very blessed to have you as a mother-in-law.

Much love to you all!