My dear friend, "Bat Aliyah,"
You know I love your writing, and your nearly palpable longing for the move to Israel. When I read your most recent post, "Not in Kansas Anymore OR Grieving for Leaving," I thought -- no, I remembered how hard it is to be you right now.
How do you explain your love for Israel without sounding to those around you a little mawkish and silly? After all, they are worried about the global financial crisis. How will they afford tuition for their five kids, and the mortgage on that house they thought they could afford a few months ago? Israel is a nice dream -- for after the kids grow up. Unless they don't want to move with the grand-kids, of course... Israel is something we pray for at Pesach, with all our hearts. But as a day-to-day actual, physical longing? Maybe after the Moshiach comes...
There is no way to write a big sigh of sympathy/empathy... so you'll just have to hear it in your mind.
My heart hurts for you (and for my memories of exactly the feelings you describe, back in the day when I was walking around in your tennies).
My neshama is glad for one more island of proof for the Ribono shel Olam to see that there are those who love His gifts with all their souls. (See, Tatte! Don't You think THIS is the last of the cumulative mitzvot You have been waiting for? Can we have the Geula now, please?)
My heart leaps with joy for you, because few people know the pleasure you will feel when you finally, finally get your wish. Maybe people who have waited a decade or two to have their first child. Maybe they can understand what it feels like, when Hashem finally says yes.
Can't fix it. But I can hold your hand.
Love,
Ruti
Glossary:
neshama: soul
Ribono shel Olam: Master of the Universe
Tatte: Papa
mitzvot: commandments
Geula: Final Redemption
1 comment:
Thank you! What a gift to have a friend who gets how deep a thing this truly is.
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