Israel: Where We All Have Something to Give

6 Adar I 5779.

There I was, enjoying my very rich and busy retirement – publishing books, babysitting delightful grandchildren, playing “Mrs. Coach” to an adult American football team, participating in classes in Torah, Hebrew, painting, yoga and music – when Andy Armon’s letter appeared in the Neve Daniel chat list. She was seeking volunteers for a new program to help young ladies at the Orot Etzion Girls’ School to improve their English conversation skills.

I am very shy where public speaking is concerned. I have never been trained as a teacher. I am only a “boy mom,” meaning I’m learning about dealing with the personalities of girls fairly late in life, through my granddaughters. And I’m happily busy, meaning I’m not looking for more to do.

But I like Andy, and I respect her efforts at helping the community. And a little tzedakah b’guf seemed like a good idea – and it happened that Thursday mornings were free. I couldn’t talk myself out of it.

I am so glad I couldn’t. I’m having the time of my life!

The program doesn’t require the structure that scares people away from “teaching.” It’s more like mentoring. I volunteer for two sessions: I work with one 5^th grade girl who has very good English that just needs a bit of polishing; and I have a group of six 6^th grade girls who have very little English but lots of enthusiasm. My job is to get them to speak English with increasing confidence. No one is expecting me to make them fluent. I just have to help them to get rid of the fear of looking foolish, and to simply be willing to try.

Much like what I went through in ulpan. In fact, my Hebrew ulpan experience helps me to understand and to help these girls. I know exactly what they are feeling. They listen to my poor Hebrew as I try to explain difficult concepts; and they are receptive to my lesson that just as they don’t laugh at me, I won’t laugh at them. Week by week, they are gaining courage, and even some proficiency. (They are very proud of knowing when to add “s” to the end of a verb, and when not to, something that often stumps even adults.)

We have fun together playing word games, singing songs, playing “grocery store,” reading easy stories. For this exercise, I am permitted by the program either to use the book provided, or to come up with my own plan. I’m rather proud of this: I have taken an easy Hebrew children’s book and translated it to English for them. First, we read the Hebrew version. It is full of moral lessons, and the girls happily debate where they stand on the issues. Then, we painstakingly make our way through the English version. As I remind them that they already understand the story, they gain faith in themselves, and struggle on. Last week, I said that I look forward to when we can debate this story in English. Unexpectedly, my initially most reticent student led a discussion in very simple English, wherein each girl stated her case! I am so proud of my girls!

After our classes (which are currently 30 minutes and 50 minutes in length), we volunteers meet, each week, to share concerns and ideas. I have gained so much wisdom from these fellow volunteers. Very often, next week’s plan starts with something learned during this meeting. Best of all, the girls, the English program teachers, and especially Andy and Yael Ben-Pazi, the principal, are so supportive of our efforts.

I love this program. It is very rewarding to give back to a community that patiently helps me with my Hebrew. It feels good to be respected for something that is part of the definition of who I am: an English-language-proficient Anglo with a lot to give the next generation in Israel.

Glossary - tzedakah b'guf: charity through deeds rather than money; ulpan: intensive Hebrew language class

Dignity -- on both sides of the equation

Yom revi'i, 12 Adar aleph 5771.

Let me share an adventure in volunteerism with you, just because I suspect I'm not the only person who drags her feet about it due to embarrassment.

Just before we made aliyah, I bought a wonderful cookbook, purely as a result of a well-written review.  The Holocaust Survivor Cookbook has become a favorite -- but not just because of the delightful recipes.  It is a book filled with stories and photographs that take the empty place in my heart where bubbies and zaydies ought to be.

The book grew from the desire of two idealistic young olim, Sarah and Jonathan Caras, to "give something back to the people of their new homeland."  They volunteered  at the Carmei Ha'ir Soup Kitchen in Jerusalem in 2005.  Later, they brought their mothers to visit Carmei Ha'ir; and out of that experience, the seed for the cookbook project began its germination.

There was an article in the cookbook about the soup kitchen that impressed me a great deal.  Instead of the rows and rows of narrow tables and benches that one imagines (or has even seen in televised reports about such worthy charitable institutions), with the downcast and life-tossed homeless huddled over bowls of soup, Carmei Ha'ir has a special approach.  There goal is that each human being that is served at their facility have an experience of dining out at a "real" restaurant, with full dignity, elegance, and cuisine comparable to other dining establishments in the area.

The idea of participating in such a project intrigued me.  What Jew doesn't want to help someone, in some way?  It's coded into our spiritual DNA.  But here's the rub, and here's where the embarrassment starts.

Too much money is not something that the Borei Olam has plagued this family with.  So donating large sums is not something that we are very often able to do.  And I am shy about just walking into an establishment and saying "Point me to the kitchen!" as I roll up my sleeves.  Dining at the soup kitchen (which anyone is allowed to do, perhaps leaving the price the meal would cost in a regular restaurant) seemed like a fine beginning.  But again, I was embarrassed.

You know the feeling of using a service that some people really, truly need, when you don't?  What if I went in, and my clothes looked a little too nice?  Is it only me that thinks: "What right do I have to be here?  What does that poor fellow over there think of me?  'Oh, she must be slumming...  Taking a gander at the poor folk.'"  Well -- perhaps I do over-think a thing.  But the point is, I want to know "the rules," before I just pop by.

So I started to look over the Carmei Ha'ir website for clues.

 First of all, it is a beautiful website, user-friendly and informative.  I could have found out everything I needed to know by perusing its pages.  But that little button -- "Questions?  Chat with us now" -- is always an irresistible lure to me.  Why?  Because I have found, time and time again, that people who man live chat desks  are very often "my kind of people," who really want to help the "caller" to get clear answers.  And I write better than I talk over the phone, which reduces my embarrassment.  So I clicked on the little chat icon...  and what followed was more gratifying than I could have hoped for.

The gentleman on the other end of the chat was named Moshe.  He very pleasantly listened to me unburden myself of my concerns (thankfully a shorter version of what I just told you).

Then he asked me what skills I had to offer.  I was a bit surprised.  What skills does it take to peel potatoes?  And impressive skills such as counseling or cooking gourmet meals for fifty are not in my repertoire.  But after a bit of back and forth, it seems that writing and proof-reading are perfectly acceptable donations to an organization such as this -- as are other skills most of us take for granted.

The point of this blog post is this:  CALL.  Not just this organization (though I am sure they would be happy if you did), but any organization in your area that just might need your help.  Look for someone in the organization who can answer your honest questions about how you can help.  You may surprise yourself.

When you want to help someone, when you want to give of yourself, never be embarrassed by a lack of money.  Tzedaka b'guf -- the giving of charity by doing -- may be much less daunting than you think.

Glossary:
Aliyah: Jewish immigration to Israel
Bubbies and zaidies: grandmothers and grandfathers
Olim: Jewish immigrants to Israel
Borei Olam: Creator of the Universe