Welcome to the club!

Yom rishon, 6 Nisan 5770.

I have to get over to Ramat Shlomo to visit friends who have lived there for many years, not realizing that they were living in "East Jerusalem."  (Thank G-d that President Obama and Ban Ki-moon have clarified matters for them; otherwise they might have thought forever that they were living in a Northeastern Hareidi Jewish community for the last 15 years.  Or maybe there has been some kind of tectonic shift over time?  Perhaps with all of the global warming, the community has actually shifted eastward???)

 
Anyway, I have to drop by and give the Mommy of the family her Settler/Obstacle to Peace Kit, to induct her into the club.  We spoke about it on the phone today.

"Me?  An 'Obstacle to Peace'?  I can't believe it!  I've always wanted to be a settler," she fairly sang.

"Well, sometimes we can't move to the settlements -- so the settlements move to us," I said, paraphrasing Bacon.  (She's a literary type; and I thought she would like it if I tried to sound well-read.  After all, not just anybody should go about conferring prestigious awards.)

My friend is very fair-minded.  "You really should be giving them out to the people in Tel Aviv," she said.

"Don't worry.  They will get theirs.  Right now, the Tel Avivians are in denial, and don't realize they are settlers."

"Eventually, an American President and a UN Secretary-General will come to their rescue, too, and clear things up for them," she said, ever mindful of the future of all of our holy people.

"We can only pray," I said.  (Remember, I told you she is Hareidi.)  Then we chatted about the imminence of Moshiach, in these extremely hafuch times, when right is wrong, up is down, and the good guys wear the black hats.  (Or the kipot serugot, as the case may be...)

The Official Settler/Obstacle to Peace Kit

The bracelet says: "The Land of Israel for the Nation of Israel."

 This is the kit I will be presenting to my dear friend, Jewish sister, and now fellow settler.  The authentic Gush Etzion parsley -- just as in fancy restaurants -- is only for show.

May we experience together the coming of Moshiach, speedily and in our days, when things that just don't make any sense finally do.

Haveil Havalim #261 -- the best of the Israeli/Jewish blogosphere -- is live at Jack's place.  By the way, Jack seems to get stuck hosting this a lot.  Even if you are a budding blogger, take my word for it:  it's not as difficult as it seems to be a host; Jack will help you; and lots of people who never would have seen your blog drop by for a visit.  FEAR NOT.

Glossary:
Obstacle to Peace: what the media constantly call people who live in Biblical Israel
Settler: a term that used to be something the world was proud of, referring to people who risked malaria to drain swamps to turn completely empty, neglected land in Israel into thriving farm collectives; recently used by the media to refer pejoratively to people who now live in those precise areas
Moshiach: Messiah
Hafuch: upside-down
Kipot serugot: knitted skull caps, usually indicating a fierce love of G-d, His Nation, and His Land